Survivor: Konoha
by vampiretrees
Summary: After the second chapter is complete you, the viewers, will get to vote one character out of Konoha. And for every chapter after two until only one remains to recieve his or her prize. After five responces per chapter the character will be elimintnated.
1. Chapter 1

Shizune: Hello and Welcome to Survivor: Konoha. I'm your host Shizune! Tsunade said this was an important game between the contries so don;t mess up or you're fired...

Shizune: There are 30 contestants and the rule is every chapter after 5 or more votes from you, the viewers, a person will be voted out of Konoha. Some people will gain immunity by winning challenges. (note: challenge winners are decided by random selection, like the teams)

Shizune: So without further ado here are the short video interviews with the contestants with Deidara. (some characters are OOC)

---

Aburame Shino-

Shino: I don't even know why I'm competing in this... I really don't care. I can see my house from the camp. See? right over there. (points)

Deidara: You're here because you have to, un.

Shino: Am I allowed to go home at night?

Deidara: No, un.

Shino: (sighs)

Akimichi Chouji-

Chouji: Will there be food at the camp?

Deidara: No, un.

Chouji: WHAT?! I DON'T WANNA BE ON THE SHOW NOW LET ME LEAVE!

Deidara: SECURITY, UN!

Security: (drags Chouji off to the camp)

Baudelaire Cat-

Deidara: Why did you join Sur- OW, UN! SHE THREW A SHOE AT ME, UN!

Cat: Annoying jerk.

Deidara: Why you little, un! (strangling)

Cat: (strangling back)

Sasori: (runs out and stop them from killing each other)

Gaara-

Deidara: (rubbing neck where was strangled) Owww... So why did YOU join Sur- OW, UN! NOT AGAIN,UN! QUITE GIVING ME APPLICANTS WHO THROW SHOES AT ME, UN!

Gaara: (throws other shoe)

Sasori: (confiscating shoes at the door now)

Haku-

Deidara: ... Will you throw shoes at me, un?

Haku: ... No, why?

Deidara: That's what the last two applicants have done.

Haku: Okay... Can I leave now?

Deidara: Un.

Haruno Sakura-

Sakura: and I love it when Sasuke-

Deidara: MAKE IT STOP, UN! SHE'S BEEN TALKING ABOUT SASUKE FOR THE PAST HOUR, UN!

Sakura: YOU GOT A PROBLEM WIHT THAT?! (throws confiscated shoe at)

Deidara: SASORI! HIDE THE SHOES YOU CONFISCATE!

Sasori: Okay... (hiding shoes)

Hatake Kakashi-

Kakashi: (reading)

Deidara: Whatcha reading, un?

Kakashi: This. (holds book in front of Deidara's face)

Deidara: OH MY GOD! (faints)

Kakashi: (walks off looking quite pleased with himself)

Hoshigaki Kisame-

Deidara: Hi Kisame, un.

Kisame: How many people attacked you today?

Deidara: So far 4 counting Kakashi's book.

Kisame: Can I go now? We already know who the applciant are so why-

Deidara: QUIT THE READERS DON'T KNOW THAT, UN!

Kisame: So can I go?

Deidara: ... Yes, un.

Hyuuga Hinata-

Hinata: (looking down) Ummm... Uhhhhh... Ehhhh... (looks up) RABID WEASELS. (walks out)

Deidara: What the un?

Hyuuga Neji-

Neji: I'm already destined to win so why have interviews?

Deidara: For the millionth time you are not destined to win. You might lose.

Neji: YOU LIE! (throws headband at)

Deidara: OW, UN! SASORI START COLLECTNIG HEADBANDS TOO!

Sasori: The rules say we can only confiscate one things and thats shoes.

Deidara: (crying into hands)

Inuzuki Kiba-

Deidara: Pets aren't allowed in the camp.

Kiba: He's not my pet, he's my best friend. Just think of him as a part of me that can traverse from my head to my chest and away from my body of it's own independant will.

Deidara: 0.o What the un?

Jiraiya-

Jiraiya: Are you a girl?

Deidara: Yes, un.

Jiraiya: You shouldn't cover up like that.

Deidara: That's none of your business, un.

Jiraiya: You should show the world what you are.

Deidara: SHUT UP, UN! (throws shoe at)

Sasori: You're not allowed to him the applicants either.

Deidara: SHUT UP, UN!

Kankurou-

Deidara: What's that thing on your back, un?

Kankurou: Puppet.

Deidara: What's it do, un?

Kankurou: Kill things, un.

Deidara: Don't do that, un.

Kankurou: Why, un?

Deidara: GRAAAHH, UN! (technical difficulties sign appears)

(picture comes back)

Kankurou: (with a black eye) It was worth it.

Maito Gai-

Gai: BLOOM OF YOUTH!

Deidara: Yes, yes you've been yelling about it for an hour now, no one cares.

Gai: THAT IS NOT THE BLOOM OF YOUTH! (punches)

Deidara: OWWW! SIT BACK DOWN!

Mitarashi Anko-

Anko: (swinging legs while sitting on the interviews chair)

Deidara: Okay actually back to interviews, Why did you join Survivor: Konoha, un?

Anko: I was bored. (still swinging)

Deidara: Do you need to swing your legs, un?

Anko: Do you need to say un after every sentance?

Deidara: Touche, un.

Momochi Zabuza-

Deidara: Wait, aren't you and the girly guy dead, un?

Zabuza: Uhhh... Ummmm... uhhh... HAKU RUN!

Zabuza and Haku: (running away)

Deidara: Well, snap, un.

Nara Shikamaru-

Shika: -and this interviews is troublesome and you are-

Deidara: YES YES TROUBLESOME YOU'VE BEEN SAYING STUFF LIKE THAT FOR THE LAST 20 MINUTES!

Sasori: How long have these interviews been going?

Deidara: Two. Painful. Days. Un.

Orochimaru-

Deidara: Hi Orochi, un.

Orochi: Yo.

Deidara: Okay interviews taking too long, you go now.

Orochi: 'Kay. (clamly gets up and leaves)

Deidara: Ne- (is hit by a shoe thrown by Orochi, hurt by being ignored)

Rocky-

Rocky: MY NAMES NOT ROCKY!

Deidara: QUIT YELLING AT THE AUTHOR, un! She can kill us here, un.

Rocky: What?! (looks up to see a very evil looking girl wiht short brown hair looking down into the room they're in)

Deidara: Un, you get used to it afetr a while. At least she's not throwing shoes at y- OW!

Tayuya-

Tayuya: Well, anyway I (beepin') coulda have (beeping) kicked his (beep) but that (beeping) (beep) got in the (beeping) way.

Deidara: Wow, un. Swear much, un?

Tayuya: (Beeping) straight.

Temari-

Deidara: Do you even have a personality in the show, un?

Temari: Not really, but I get an awesome weapon.

Deidara: True dat, un, true dat, un.

Tenten-

Deidara: You got even less of a personality doncha, un?

Tenten: Yes, so teh supreme overlord will decide how I act in this fic.

Deidara: That's nice, un.

Tsunade-

Deidara: EXACTLY HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE IN THIS THING, UN!?

Sasori: Thirty.

Deidara: Good we're ending soon, un.

Tsunade: QUIT IGNORING ME! (throws shoe at)

Deidara: SASORI YOU ARE HORRIBLE AT SHOE CONFISCATION, UN!

Uchiha Itachi-

Deidara: Hey Itachi, un.

Itachi: Hi Deidara.

Deidara: Bye Itachi, un.

Itachi: Bye Deidara. (walks out)

Uchiha Sasuke-

Sasuke: -AND THEN I WILL FINALLY HAVE MY DUELLY DESERVED REVENGE!

Deidara: You do know I'm in the same organization as Itachi, un? And talk to him alot, un? And can tell him your plans, un?

Sasuke: Well, snap.

Uzumaki Naruto-

Naruto: -AND THEN I WILL FINALLY BE HOKAGE!

Deidara: Why do I always get the loud people, un?

Yamanaka Ino-

Ino: -AND THEN SASUKE WILL FINALLY BE MINE!

Deidara: Is it just me or are these getting repetitive, un?

Sasori: The authors bored.

Deidara: I see, un.

Yukushi Kabuto-

Kabuto: I have absolutely nothing to say.

Deidara: Well you have to say something, un.

Kabuto: Ummmm... (puts on a hat with the words "Kabuto's Rulin' Hat" printed on it in horrible writing) NOW THAT I'M THE MASTER OF ALL THE PLANET, I CAN WEAR MY SPECIAL RULIN' HAT! IT'S FULL OF EVIL!!

---

Shizune: Well the interviews are over, because we ran out of people and I don't think anyone could top Kabuto and his Rulin' Hat... 


	2. Chapter 2

Shizune: Let me clear up some misconceptions about the voting and the rules.

Rule 1- You vote at the end of this chapter and it's precessors.

Rule 2- You vote for ONE person you want voted OFF the show.

Also it has been made a little more like "Real World" because challenges are more difficult. so just vote to keep the characters you think are the most funny on!

Shizune: Okay now that that's said these are the groups.

Sasori: The first group managed by me is-

Zabuza Kabuto Ino Itachi Chouji Gaara Hinata Kiba Tsunade Neji Cat Temari Jiraiya Kisame

Deidara: The second team lead by me- OW, UN! SHOE, UN! OKAY WHO THREW IT?!

Tayuya: Shut the (beeping) (beep) up (beep).

Deidara: (throws shoe back at) The second team is-

Orochimaru Gai-sensei Haku Kakashi Kankurou Anko Sakura Shikamaru Tayuya Naruto Rock Lee Shino Tenten Sasuke

Shizune: Okay go to your camps for a while until an event comes up!

Everyone: Walks to respected "camps".

(in Team 1's camp...)

Cat: HUMAN SACRIFICE!

Kabuto: SACRIFICE SANTA!

Hinata: HE'S NOTS HERE THOUGH LET'S SACRIFICE NEJI!

Neji: What am I even being sacrificed to?

Cat, Hinata, and Kabuto: ... ummmmm... to...

Cat: THE RAMEN GOD IN THE SKY!

Hinata and Kabuto: SURE WHY NOT! (tying Neji to a stake)

Neji: HELP ME! I DON'T WANT TO BE SACRIFICED!

Itachi: Go fish, Kisame.

Kisame: THAT IS A HORRIBLE THING TO SAY TO ME YOU JERK!

Itachi: ...

Jiraiya: (peeking in the women's bath)

Tsunade: Hey, Genius, no one's in there.

Jiraiya: ... Shut up.

Chouji: I'm bored and hungry.

Ino: Too bad, everyone's bored.

Chouji: And something smells delicious.

Ino: Hm?

Chouji and Ino: (look over and sees Neji being burned at the stake) We didn't see anything. (they turn away to see Kisame beating up Itachi) (sweatdrop) I think we're the only sane ones here...

Temari: Nope, I'm pretty sane right now.

Gaara: (killing some bugs) I have no part here... I feel depressed.

Cat: Join us in the speicial side.

Hinata and Kabuto: (chanting) One of us, one of us.

Gaara: OKAY! LET'S SACRIFICE MORE PEOPLE!

Hinata: GO FOR THE GUY WITH THE BIG SWORD AND THE GUY WITH THE DOG!

Kabuto: I'll get the marshmellows and TOOTHPASTE!

Cat: And the acorns, you fool!

Gaara: Spatula.

(in Team 2's camp)

Gai-sensei: AND THAT OROCHIMARU IS WHAT THE BLOOM OF YOUTH IS!

Orochimaru: OU HAVE OPENED MY EYES SENSEI! (in a green jumpsuit)

Lee: YOUTH!

Gai-sensei: YOUTH!

Orochimaru: YOUTH!

Sasuke: Somebody shoot me.

Orochimaru: (pulls put handgun) OKAY!

Gai-sensei: (pulls out rifle) OKAY!

Lee: (pulls out bazooka) OKAY!

Gai-sensei, Orochimaru, and Sasuke: 0.o

Lee: There was a sale at Mafias"R"Us.

Naruto: Hey was there a sale at Ramen"R"Us right next to it?

Lee: No but Target had a sale on blonde hair dye.

Naruto: SWEET!

Sakura: You're not a natural blonde?! That is so random... Like the shoe that's about to hit me in the head. (shoe hits) OW!

Shikamaru: How troublesome...

Anko: I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY!

Lee: They had a sale at CrazyProctorMart though.

Anko: SWEETNESS!

Lee: But it was one day only though.

Anko: (beep)

Tayuya: (beep)

Anko: What the (beeping) are you (beeping) swearing about.

Tayuya: Life in (beeping) general.

Anko: (tears forming in eyes) You're (beeping) like the little (beeping) sister I never (beeping) had.

Tayuya: (tears forming in eyes) Me (beeping) too.

(they hug in the sunset)

Gai-sensei and Rock Lee: HEY THAT SUNSET IS OUR PROPERTY!

Anko and Tayuya: (beeping) prove it!

Gai-sensei and Lee: (point at the corner where the words "Property of Lee and Gai" is printed in cruddy handwriting)

Anko and Tayuya: Well, (beep) (they walk away)

Lee: Yay we won Gai-sensei!

Gai: Lee!

Lee: Gai-sensei!

Gai: LEE!

Lee: GAI-SENSEI!

(hug in sunset officially owned by them)

Kakashi, Tenten, Shino, Haku, and Kankurou: YAY WE HAVE NOTHING TO DO WIHT THIS CHAPTER! 


End file.
